By Matt Ferratusco

April 1, 2004 - Orlando, Florida - For immediate release:

The Martin Sports Car Club has announced this week a series of controversial rule changes. The changes were made in an effort to improve the environmental friendliness of autocrossing. In recent months, MSCC has been working closely with SCCA's Department of Environmental Partnerships & Alliances to create an environmentally-safe package. The SCCA is expected to announce similar changes in the coming weeks, however MSCC felt it needed to take immediate action.

The first of the new rules is the elimination of aftermarket exhaust upgrades. From this point forward, to compete in MSCC events, cars must carry the complete factory exhaust system. "Pollution is a growing concern," cited MSCC President George Bonafede. "As a leader in the motorsports community, we have an ethical responsibility to preserve the cleanliness of our planet." Cars must be equipped with a catalytic converter, resonator, and muffler all in proper working condition.

To police the new requirements, a form of emissions inspection will be integrated into tech inspection. During tech, cars will now be checked for proper functioning catalytic converters and factory exhaust. "We feel an obligation to uphold the law considering we hold our events at a law enforcement training facility," stated Bob Palmblad, MSCC's Vice President and Technical Director. "It's a win-win situation. We earn brownie points and retain our event site, while the rest of society benefits from a tidy planet."

In similar fashion to the IRS tax credits awarded to owners of hydrogen-powered vehicles, MSCC has decided to grant discounts on membership and entry fees to owners of hybrid vehicles. Mark Stockbridge, Events Director for MSCC, is excited about the hybrid plan. "This is great! We'll see an epic movement of hybrid vehicles! This is truly going to change the face of autocrossing as we know it!"

Chris Wells, MSCC Secretary and club photographer, is eager to capture the hybrid action on film. "I can't wait to snap the hybrids with my cool new camera! The best part is I'll get kickbacks for selling my photos to the manufacturers as part of their new advertising campaigns. It's the new wave in motorsports."

The next rule change is the elimination of race tires. "Rubber is a limited resource," says Bonafede, "and race tires are a waste of rubber. Therefore we're abolishing sticky rubber. Besides, they make up for lack of driver skill. Putting all drivers on street tires will separate the men from the boys."

The most shocking change comes in response to the nation-wide gas crisis. MSCC has removed the GT class and its cars from competition. "The world's fossil fuel supply is nearly depleted," explained Bonafede. "These big Detroit V8s are only making a bad situation worse. Their fuel efficiency is unacceptable. We're left with no choice but to remove them from competition and do away with the GT class." Cars eliminated from competition include the Ford Mustang, Chevrolet Camaro, and Pontiac Firebird & Trans-Am. When asked why the Corvette wasn't included, Bonafede said, "The Corvette is an icon in motorsports. Repercussions could be devastating if we pulled it from competition. Besides, it's safer than the GT cars."

Safety was also cited as a reason for eliminating the GT class. Bob Palmblad comments, "The GT cars are unsafe anyway. The brakes and suspension cannot keep up with the massive horsepower. At least the Vettes are up to the task. Anyways, I think everyone should drive a Miata."

The rule changes are effective immediately and will be enforced beginning with MSCC's April Mini Prix at Gainesville Raceway. MSCC officials are excited about the changes. "We want to move in a different direction," explained Jacki Green, MSCC Treasurer. "We're not like other clubs, and this proves our independence. It's a power thing!"

April fools!